When a pig freezes over

I eat out every night, foraging for food among the Mission’s sea of taquerias and local eateries. I hate suburban malls and getting up early on weekends, and also have no patience for shopping of any sort. With this context, you can see that I was the perfect candidate to figure out storage for our frozen pig. The original plan to store our meaty parcels, to distribute them amongst our tiny urban iceboxes, sounded much smarter while bourbon-storming. In the sober light of the busy work weeks that preceded our pig pick-up, we decided to acquire a chest freezer.

We started with the used appliance store around the corner from Sarah’s house. After two visits, a phone call and a host of broken promises to call us with quotes, we decided that the establishment was probably a front for trafficking illegal workers and we turned to Craigslist. At first glance I was stoked; there were freezers, many under $100. The available inventory was spread throughout the far reaches of the bay area. After three days full of maddening staccato flakey communication brought me no closer to our desired acquisition, I remembered why I hate Craigslist. One look at the Home Depot website and a new chest freezer didn’t look so expensive. And that my friends is how I ended up at the Daly City Home Depot at 8:30 this morning.